How to kill a lobster

I am going to make this post short and sweet. After purging my soul in the previous post or 'ranting' as some people called it, I won't make your eyes bleed for too long this time round.

How to kill a lobster, poignant and relevant for the following reasons:
1) I can't possibly tell you on a public forum
2)I am in Cape Town and last night ordered a lobster which weighed in at 1.2 kilograms. Yes, my friends, I said 1.2kg. Needless to say I have been snacking on lobster for about 24 hours now.

For an unforgettable seafood experience in Cape Town, get yourself down to Panama Jacks. Hardly a bastion of interior design but an expansive seafood menu. I could however do without seeing my food swimming happily about in a tank before it is presented all pink and pretty on my plate.

How to kill a lobster? Quickly. There are many theories on how to approach it humanely and it really is not as gory as you may think. Nor should it be something you are afraid of doing, it is so quick, simple to cook and an awesome dish to serve guests on special occasions.

OK. Firstly, you need to take your lobster and put it in the freezer, an hour should do the trick. The lobster's central nervous system shuts down and it pretty much goes into hibernation mode.

Take your sleepy lobster out the freezer, and do yourself and your unconscious lobster a favour and use a professional chefs knife. Using an ineffective knife is only going to frustrate you and is not fair on the lobster. Press the point of the knife into the head and make sure the point of the knife goes all the way through the lobster's shell and in to the cutting board, then bring the blade down between the eyes to finish the cut of the head. Job's a good un.

To cook the lobster could not be more simple. Bring a deep pot to the boil with a generous pinch of salt (a pot big enough to accommodate your lobster), throw the lobster in and put the lid on. Boil for 5 minutes following which you should check the outer shell is a beautiful, coral pink. Once the lobster has changed to this colour all over, your lobster is done.

Remove from the pot and serve on a plate with marie rose sauce which could not be simpler to make:

2 tablespoons of tomato sauce
2 tablespoons of mayonnaise
generous dash of Tobasco sauce (some like it hot)
1 teaspoon of Worcester Sauce
black pepper to taste

Mix the above ingredients together and serve on the side. I personally prefer my lobster cold as I find it is sweeter and more suited to the summer climate we are hurtling towards but serving hot is just as good.

I am now back from Cape Town, it was possibly the best weekend of my life (apart from Kesh's birthday weekend in the Magaliesburg, but a definitely close second). Thank you to everyone who made it so special. Really. Having found out my grandmother has pretty aggressive cancer put a damper on things yesterday but such is the cycle of life. I will dedicate my next recipe to her. She has 8 grand children and thought I was the only one with any cooking sense to inherit her personal hand written recipe book with pages from magazines which date back to 1940. I love you Ma Nancy and I am so sorry I have been so rubbish since I moved and built and generally recovered.