Spaghetti Bolognese, a hermit's delight

Essentially, I am a Joburg girl through and through. When I moved to London, I ached to the core of my being for the temperate climate (I am big into stable weather patterns after 11 years in Blighty), the sub-tropical vegetation and the village-like familiarity; which right now is my biggest bugbear. At the moment what I crave more than anything is anonymity and wish I could slip out of my flat, throw some crappy clothes on and go for a walk without bumping into anyone I know. Not for any reason other than I am feeling a little claustrophobic and I can't so much as go to a petrol station without seeing someone I know. Perhaps I should change petrol stations, just a thought. Although I say this after going to a random petrol station this morning after the gym (for cigarettes), sweating profusely and naturally, bumped into someone.

The above being said, I remember I went to the dermatologist in London in my pajamas, a coat and a beanie shortly before I came back to South Africa. Anyhow, I had finished my treatment and was all red-faced and looking like a guttersnipe in the reception area as they prepared my bill. Naturally, their systems were down and they asked me to take a seat in one of three chairs in a waiting room the size of a shoebox as they attempted to manually process the payment. So I see there is another body in the chair next to me as I sit down and being naturally curious, I looked up to check out the sardine who was virtually sitting on my lap. To my horror, the sardine was Ewan McGregor.

With my claustrophobia having set in good and proper, I have managed to shun all invitations this weekend other than a quick dinner tonight and a birthday lunch tomorrow. I have spent most of the weekend on my own and if I hadn't had to work, it would have been perfect.

Last night I was exhausted, I got 2 DVD's and ingredients for a Spag Bol and prepared to settle in for the evening. Damn the video store guy to hell though, I managed to take out one of the worst DVD's I have ever seen in my life. I should have known I was in for trouble when every trailer was a rom-com.

Bolognese is the perfect comfort meal and everyone says theirs is best and this is a point I have learnt not to argue, I have come to blows with people debating this. This is how I do mine and I like it.

INGREDIENTS (serves 4)

Extra virgin olive oil for frying
2 onions finely chopped
2 garlic cloves finely chopped
1 bouquet garni (see past post)
4 sticks of celery finely chopped
4 large carrots finely chopped
500 grams of lean beef mince
1 tablespoon of fish sauce
1 heaped tablespoon of sugar (this regulates the acidity of the tomatoes)
2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon of ketchup (yes, ketchup, even some of the world's best restaurants have been known to use it from time to time)
1 small tin of tomato puree
1 tin of plum tomatoes
salt and pepper to taste

METHOD

Preheat your oven to 160 degrees.

Brown your mince in a little olive oil on a medium heat. Once brown and cooked through, set aside in a bowl. Do not salt the mince, it will lose all it's juice and flavour which you want in the sauce.

Fry off your onion till soft, add garlic and then your carrots and celery (this is traditionally called 'trinity'). Fry this off for about 10 minutes or so.

Transfer the onion, garlic, celery and carrots to an oven proof dish and add your browned mince and mix well.

Place the mixture back on the stove and add the tomato puree and mix in well.

Add the tin of plum tomatoes and squish them into the mince to break the tomatoes up and mix well.

Add fish sauce, sugar, balsamic vinegar, sugar and ketchup and again mix this altogether thoroughly.

Add salt and pepper to taste. Make sure the there is the right amount of salt to balance the sweet and sour of the sauce.

Add the bouquet garni.

Place the dish in the preheated oven and cook for 90 minutes but take it out halfway and give it a bit of a stir.

20 minutes before you are ready to take your Bolognese out the oven, get your pasta on the boil and DO NOT overcook it (pasta lesson to follow shortly).

Remove the dish from the oven and let it stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Serve with a generous glass of red wine, on a Friday night, on your own.

Best enjoyed the next day and apparently very healthy for you too, check this out: http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Health/Cancer-Tomatoes-spaghetti-bolognese-antioxidants/Article/200808315083647?chooseNews=videos)

Granny blood cupcakes and pea soup

Rightio then, so this is how my Thursday the 14th of October began; an 8:30 meeting during which the following topics were discussed: deep sea fishing, uranium mines, blood diamonds (no relation to the uranium mines) and Brett Kebble . Is it any wonder I felt a bit de-centred for the rest of the day? I had every intention of cracking on and being productive and seemed to have made a million phone calls but can't really recall getting anything done. Oh, and it will be beyond interesting to see how I am going to cope with the four new clients I have just picked up as I hurtle into end of year burn-out. Anyone who knows of a decent PR person with existing media contacts, a good eye for detail and can write themselves out of a paper bag, please let me know. Have I mentioned my recent bout of insomnia lately? It's just awesome.

So after returning from the twilight zone this afternoon, I get a diatribe posted on my Facebook wall from Jack who had a flash of genius and produced a piece of Facebook literature exclusively for me. It went something like this:

‎"Sammy, at this rate I am going to have to befriend the wolf-pack and spend my Thursday nights wearing skinny jeans, Wayfarers, with a random subversive V-neck t-shirt whilst drinking a Black Label, eating granny blood cupcakes and listening to a highly fashionable indie electro tekno outfit ( which was formed that afternoon at the Agency water cooler ) whose music is made with a gramophone, Speak & Spell and a colander". Now there will be some of you who will have a point of reference for this tirade and the rest of you will just have to appreciate the randomness of the post. Jack, this post will live on forever.

So tonight was catch up on work night. I sent some releases out and wrote some copy as a favour for a friend of mine who is opening a kid's pilates studio - Princess Pilates by Holly Hughes (apply within for further information). So something quick and simple but comforting was on the menu. Firstly cause of the weirdness of my day and secondly because it is a tad grey and mis outside. Pea soup it was.

Let me give you a very quick lesson in peas. When I was in PR in London, I did the PR for a certain brand of frozen peas (I am not giving you the name as my fingers are no longer bleeding from penning PR bullsh*t spin for pennies and my job is done). I did however learn a lot. And this is what I will impart: frozen peas are the peas to use. It takes roughly three hours for the peas to go from field to frozen which means they are fresh as you like when you pluck them out of your retailer's freezer. The longer the peas stand (shelled or unshelled) in a fridge, the blander they will taste. This is because the sugar in peas which makes them so sweet, transforms into starch the moment they are picked from the ground. Please take my word on this, I have been to enough pea fields, pea factories and done enough pea tastings to put me off peas for life. Lesson over. Now for the recipe and as with most of my recipes, it's quick and healthy. And as with all recipes, there are so many variations on this. Pea and mint / pea and ham; again play with your ingredients, this is just what I had to hand tonight.

INGREDIENTS (serves 4)

1 onion chopped
1 clove of garlic
1/2 packet of frozen peas
1 tablespoon of creme fraiche
2 cubes of veggie stock / chicken stock
1 tablespoon of sugar
1 tablespoon of fish sauce
salt and pepper to taste

Method

Fry your chopped onion off until soft
Add garlic and fry this off on a low heat with the onions till soft (FYI: you add the garlic after as there is no taste worse than burnt garlic)
Boil your peas in the stock cubes for 7 minutes maximum (you don't want grey soup)
Drain peas and decant into a bowl *(leave about 4 cups of the stock and add to the bowl of peas)
Add onion and garlic to bowl
Add fish sauce and sugar and mix all ingredients well
Blend the contents of the bowl well
Add salt and pepper to taste
Serve with a dollop of creme fraiche which will melt into the soup

I am now going to try my very best to get some sleep.

The take-away chronicles of a grumpy PR girl

There was as much chance of me cooking tonight as there was of Joburg getting a decent downpour. The idea threatened but it was not going to happen.

PR is not rocket science but there is a skill to it that can't be learnt; you have it or you don't and it makes the difference of an excellent PR officer or a god-awful, shocking one. In essence you have to be a master of manipulation, intuitive, a mind-reader and amenable at all times. Now anyone who knows me well will tell you I am not amenable by nature, so when I have deadlines coming out of my ears, TV interviews after 7pm and a sleep deficit, a day like today leaves me wanting to blow someone's head off. Which generally doesn't fly in my line of work.

In short, after a day of catching plates and using each last vessel of energy I had being 'nice', I could not face cooking. That and the fact that I had to be at ETV at 7:30pm which is generally prep time, I decided to get take-aways. My first port of call for quick and cheap is Kung Fu Kitchen in Parktown North. It does what it says on the tin: quick, fast, inoffensive sushi / Chinese which is what you want from a take-away joint. However, tonight they were engaged and I hadn't the patience to wait till I got through. So I called Ruby Grapefruit in Parkhurst. I have been there enough times to judge their sushi as passable. It's not great, a bit bland but it's close to home and convenient after a few drinks in 'the Hurst'. I placed my order over the phone and it was: 1 miso soup / 1 portion of salmon sashimi / 1 crab maki / 1 Grapetiser. Simple, no? You'd think it was.

I went to pick it up, I brought it home and found I had a portion of fashion sandwiches (who the f%^k thought it was a good idea to bastardise sushi by adding mayonnaise?), my salmon sashimi which was the one thing they got correct (well done guys) and no miso soup and a Coke Light. So I called them up and the waitress said that I had "ordered wrong". I am sorry, WHAT? I ordered wrong? I am not usually short of words but this had me well and truly dumbfounded. I tried in the nicest possible way to explain that I in fact had NOT ordered incorrectly but they had actually taken the order down incorrectly. To which she responded again, that I had ordered wrong. It was at this point, alas, where I 'lost my shit'. I then explained the 'customer is always right' adage. This is where she seemed to have caught herself a wake-up and told me the next time I came they would give me a free miso soup. I told her that there would be no next time. End of.

On a lighter note, for the best sushi in town, get yourself down to Yamoto in Illovo (http://www.yamato.co.za/). They are not cheap but you will be guaranteed top quality sushi and they have an extensive Japanese menu.

I don't know how to end this tonight as I am exhausted and drained of all resources, so I will leave you with the song I had on repeat today which got me through the day. Over and out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLTPKKt-pMs

PS: I need a PR assistant.
PPS: For a good laugh Google image 'fashion sandwich'

Burn out and raw food - steak tatar

I am done for the year. Like seriously done for the year. Not much time off this year, break ups, moves and builds and work and work and work. I am wanton for motivation, inspiration and at least two days to sleep and potter and renew my license disc and my passport and my ID book. Right now, so far as tasks go, the admin seems monumental. I just want to play now. Play all day long. Surely it has to be December soon?

With all the above in mind, my best friend called me yesterday and said: I just want to tell you something. I am so proud of you. This year, you have been through a shitty break-up, bought a house, built a house and still did well with work and you didn't fall apart. You just did it. And I am so proud of you and you have a beautiful flat now. Thank you Jeana Theron, you are my rock and my mind-reader and now you have a flat too. I love you madly.

But with burn out comes lethargy and laziness, and today was no exception. It could also have something to do with going out to The Bohemian last night, albeit briefly. It was my first time there and certainly a cultural journey into something I can't really put into words. It was good fun though but going out on Sunday nights leaves me anxious and does not make for a zen Monday morning and has left me having to work till 10pm this evening.

It is getting really warm and cooking for one is a bit of a chore on a hot Monday night, but I made a pact with myself when I moved in by myself that I will sit at the table and have a meal in the evenings, even if it is on my own, which I really don't mind to be honest. As an only child, I enjoy my own company just a little too much (but revel in attention when it's offered). I knew I would feel this way tonight so I planned accordingly. I went to my local butchers today (Dunkeld butchers, they are truly the best, especially for biltong) and bought 250 grams of minced prime fillet for steak tatar. Now being raw meat means it is not to everyone's taste and being raw meat means that buying the highest quality, fresh meat is critical.

Typically steak tatar is marinated raw meat in wine or other spirits, spiced to taste, and eaten chilled. It is often served with onions, capers and seasonings (the latter incorporating fresh ground pepper and Worcestershire sauce), sometimes with a raw egg, and often on rye bread. The wine or spirits almost cook the meat but I usually buck this trend and marinate mine in lemon juice instead, the acidity of the lemon juice does the same thing as the alcohol essentially.

Served with a salad and some melba toast, it really is a treat and a healthy if not slightly alternative way of eating red meat. This is how it's done:

Ingredients; (serves 2)

250 grams of prime minced beef
2 tablespoons of chopped capers
2 chopped pickled cucumbers
2 tablespoons of finely chopped red onion
2 tablespoon of finely chopped parsley
1 teaspoon of Tobasco
1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce (I misspelt this is a previous blog)
juice of 1 large lemon
1 egg yolk
generous pinch of black pepper
ditto salt

Method:

Mix all ingredients together (love this, as this is all you do)!

Serving suggestion: Melba toast and a rocket salad.

Dancing in the Moonlight and chick pea salad

I remember very early on in Jamie Oliver's telly career when he was a geezer about London Town, cooking for his mates and his band members, there was one particular episode where he had a barbecue (it is a barbecue as it was British television). Anyhow, the episode culminated in his friends talking and relaxing in his garden (this must have been a studio cause nobody in Clerkenwell, London has a fecking garden nor are the evenings ever balmy in the UK unless there is a freak heatwave which kills people and there certainly wasn't one that year). I digress, so there his friends are looking cool and sexy with fairy lights and food and that song by Toploader came on, "Dancing in the Moonlight". And everybody wanted to be them or aspire to be like them. Well, saccharine sweet as it sounds, that was me last night. It was a balmy evening, my friends were in my garden looking cool and sexy and having a damn brilliant time with the promise of brilliant food. I thought about that Jamie Oliver episode as it really did capture the moment perfectly. You can now put your sick bags away.

Firstly a MASSIVE thank you to Patrick who brought me the most amazing braai set that serious braai-ers use (I will get there); I said it last night and I will say it again, you are a rockstar of note. And thank you to the braai master. It did not disappoint despite the moaning and whining that the steak was 'overcooked', it was like butter.

As Kesh said, you know if you are coming to chez Sam, there is always the promise of great food, and last night was no exception (if I do say so myself). Gazpacho for starters, and a host of different salads for mains to accompany the meats and bread. There was a chick pea and roasted pepper salad, a beetroot, sugar snap pea and feta salad and a cous cous, broccoli and marinated tomato salad.

The great thing about salads is that they do not have to be your wilted lettuce, soggy tomato type, there is so much scope for variation and creativity and they can ultimately be made from anything from your store cupboard as one of my salads was last night as I thought I would be a salad short so I had to whip something up in a hurry. And this was what it was:

Chick pea, roasted pepper and feta salad (serves 8)

Ingredients:

2 tins of chick peas
1 tin of roasted peppers (chopped)
large handful of chopped coriander
1 red onion finely chopped
250 grams of feta
1 packet of sugar snap peas
generous pinch of salt to taste

Dressing
2 tablespoons of olive oil
2 tablespoons of soya sauce
4 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar
1 heaped teaspoon of grain mustard
Juice of 1 lemon

Method:

Mix all the ingredients for your dressing

Throw your ingredients in a bowl

Add dressing

The end

Hard nights, helicopters, haute cabriere and healthy Gazpacho

If you don't mind I am going to continue with the morbidity of the last post another time. Today is a beautiful sunny day and I have had the most successful week of my career. I am in my flat which looks beyond beautiful (I say this as I type and look out my window onto my replanted garden) and the afternoon sun is dappled on the grass. It's Friday and all is good with the world.

This week has been a media frenzy, rushing between 702, Classic FM, Financial Mail, SABC and others has rendered me useless today. I managed to catch up with some contacts at SAFM yesterday at The Saxon for breakfast, what an incredible setting, truly. We dined on oysters for breakfast (unlimited) spoke about the perils of being single in your 30's and seafood markets in France. It was truly lovely, needless to say the rest of the day was a bit if a struggle. Oh, by the way, if you find yourself coming across Belon oysters in a restaurant, please, please do yourself a favour and order a half dozen. They are velvety, meaty and huge. I would even go so far as to say that I prefer them to Luderitz oysters.

Now a quick shout out for some restaurants. A journalist contact of mine from the Financial Mail lives in Franschhoek and his brother is the chef patron of a restaurant in the Haute Cabriere valley (http://www.hautecabriere.com/Chef.htmrestaurant) and of another called The Grill Room in Franchhoek (http://www.franschhoek.org.za/eat/view/726). I have been invited to spend the day eating and drinking and flying in helicopters when next I am in the Fairest Cape. Thank you, Greg and I hope you are not critiquing my writing too hard, it is all done off the cuff. Not to mention on a mild hangover today.

Anyhow as summer descends on us at a rapid pace, I thought it only fair and right that I had a braai / BBQ this weekend. I went and bought one today. It so happens I looked at this 'thing' and realised I know NOTHING about braaing or braai culture. Lord help me it looks like an alien in my garden, I hope to pick up some handy hints and tips tomorrow because although I may know a fair amount about cooking, this business of the braai has me stumped.

I will be serving gazpacho to the masses tomorrow evening as it is the perfect summer soup, not to mention healthy, filling and so easy to make it. Always delivering on the WOW factor, gazpacho is the closest thing to heaven if made correctly. It is a fine balance of fragrance, garlic and refreshing vegetables and you can get creative with herb and vegetable variants should you so wish to. Right, here goes . . . I hope to get this right after a rather hard night last night.

Just so you know, gazpacho is traditionally made with bread. I don't make mine this way but it does do wonders for the consistency. Should you want to put bread in yours, add 250 grams of homemade bread crumbs into the mix.

Gazpacho (serves 6-8)

Ingredients:

500 grams of tomatoes
2 large peeled cucumbers
1 large red onion
2 red peppers
2 green peppers
4 large garlic cloves
1 large handful of chopped coriander (optional)
7 tablespoons of good quality extra virgin olive oil
4 tablespoons of good quality balsamic vinegar
Salt and pepper to taste

Method:
Skin your tomatoes by placing them in a pot and pouring boiling hot water over them. Leave them for 5 minutes and then place them in a sink filled with ice water and peel with with your hands. Chop them roughly and place in a bowl

Chop your peppers roughly and place in the the same bowl. Ditto the cucumbers

Chop your onion fairly finely and add to the bowl

Mash your garlic cloves and coriander with a pestle and mortar (if you don't have one, just chop the garlic and the coriander as finely as you can) and add to the same bowl

Add olive oil and vinegar to the bowl and mix it all up well

Put your mixture into the blender and blend well and voila, all done. It is that simple. Some people like to strain the soup to rid it of bits, but I like mine rustic, it really is a personal thing.

Serve with croutons and a chilled glass of white wine. Not that I can even contemplate alcohol today. Over and out.

How to kill a lobster

I am going to make this post short and sweet. After purging my soul in the previous post or 'ranting' as some people called it, I won't make your eyes bleed for too long this time round.

How to kill a lobster, poignant and relevant for the following reasons:
1) I can't possibly tell you on a public forum
2)I am in Cape Town and last night ordered a lobster which weighed in at 1.2 kilograms. Yes, my friends, I said 1.2kg. Needless to say I have been snacking on lobster for about 24 hours now.

For an unforgettable seafood experience in Cape Town, get yourself down to Panama Jacks. Hardly a bastion of interior design but an expansive seafood menu. I could however do without seeing my food swimming happily about in a tank before it is presented all pink and pretty on my plate.

How to kill a lobster? Quickly. There are many theories on how to approach it humanely and it really is not as gory as you may think. Nor should it be something you are afraid of doing, it is so quick, simple to cook and an awesome dish to serve guests on special occasions.

OK. Firstly, you need to take your lobster and put it in the freezer, an hour should do the trick. The lobster's central nervous system shuts down and it pretty much goes into hibernation mode.

Take your sleepy lobster out the freezer, and do yourself and your unconscious lobster a favour and use a professional chefs knife. Using an ineffective knife is only going to frustrate you and is not fair on the lobster. Press the point of the knife into the head and make sure the point of the knife goes all the way through the lobster's shell and in to the cutting board, then bring the blade down between the eyes to finish the cut of the head. Job's a good un.

To cook the lobster could not be more simple. Bring a deep pot to the boil with a generous pinch of salt (a pot big enough to accommodate your lobster), throw the lobster in and put the lid on. Boil for 5 minutes following which you should check the outer shell is a beautiful, coral pink. Once the lobster has changed to this colour all over, your lobster is done.

Remove from the pot and serve on a plate with marie rose sauce which could not be simpler to make:

2 tablespoons of tomato sauce
2 tablespoons of mayonnaise
generous dash of Tobasco sauce (some like it hot)
1 teaspoon of Worcester Sauce
black pepper to taste

Mix the above ingredients together and serve on the side. I personally prefer my lobster cold as I find it is sweeter and more suited to the summer climate we are hurtling towards but serving hot is just as good.

I am now back from Cape Town, it was possibly the best weekend of my life (apart from Kesh's birthday weekend in the Magaliesburg, but a definitely close second). Thank you to everyone who made it so special. Really. Having found out my grandmother has pretty aggressive cancer put a damper on things yesterday but such is the cycle of life. I will dedicate my next recipe to her. She has 8 grand children and thought I was the only one with any cooking sense to inherit her personal hand written recipe book with pages from magazines which date back to 1940. I love you Ma Nancy and I am so sorry I have been so rubbish since I moved and built and generally recovered.