There was as much chance of me cooking tonight as there was of Joburg getting a decent downpour. The idea threatened but it was not going to happen.
PR is not rocket science but there is a skill to it that can't be learnt; you have it or you don't and it makes the difference of an excellent PR officer or a god-awful, shocking one. In essence you have to be a master of manipulation, intuitive, a mind-reader and amenable at all times. Now anyone who knows me well will tell you I am not amenable by nature, so when I have deadlines coming out of my ears, TV interviews after 7pm and a sleep deficit, a day like today leaves me wanting to blow someone's head off. Which generally doesn't fly in my line of work.
In short, after a day of catching plates and using each last vessel of energy I had being 'nice', I could not face cooking. That and the fact that I had to be at ETV at 7:30pm which is generally prep time, I decided to get take-aways. My first port of call for quick and cheap is Kung Fu Kitchen in Parktown North. It does what it says on the tin: quick, fast, inoffensive sushi / Chinese which is what you want from a take-away joint. However, tonight they were engaged and I hadn't the patience to wait till I got through. So I called Ruby Grapefruit in Parkhurst. I have been there enough times to judge their sushi as passable. It's not great, a bit bland but it's close to home and convenient after a few drinks in 'the Hurst'. I placed my order over the phone and it was: 1 miso soup / 1 portion of salmon sashimi / 1 crab maki / 1 Grapetiser. Simple, no? You'd think it was.
I went to pick it up, I brought it home and found I had a portion of fashion sandwiches (who the f%^k thought it was a good idea to bastardise sushi by adding mayonnaise?), my salmon sashimi which was the one thing they got correct (well done guys) and no miso soup and a Coke Light. So I called them up and the waitress said that I had "ordered wrong". I am sorry, WHAT? I ordered wrong? I am not usually short of words but this had me well and truly dumbfounded. I tried in the nicest possible way to explain that I in fact had NOT ordered incorrectly but they had actually taken the order down incorrectly. To which she responded again, that I had ordered wrong. It was at this point, alas, where I 'lost my shit'. I then explained the 'customer is always right' adage. This is where she seemed to have caught herself a wake-up and told me the next time I came they would give me a free miso soup. I told her that there would be no next time. End of.
On a lighter note, for the best sushi in town, get yourself down to Yamoto in Illovo (http://www.yamato.co.za/). They are not cheap but you will be guaranteed top quality sushi and they have an extensive Japanese menu.
I don't know how to end this tonight as I am exhausted and drained of all resources, so I will leave you with the song I had on repeat today which got me through the day. Over and out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLTPKKt-pMs
PS: I need a PR assistant.
PPS: For a good laugh Google image 'fashion sandwich'
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